A Word On Why Your Words Matter

Dear……..……….

It’s me again. Today I had a really long class. I was so tired after that, that I just walked back to my room and dropped on my bed. After food today, I felt like going out. The night was so young and beautiful. I decided to sit down for some cold lemon tea. I took the longer road this time to get to the tea stall. It’s always nice to take the longer road. You get to say hi to some people and make some small talk. Leaves a smile on your face by the time you reach your destination. I decided to go through some great posts. And I was sitting there reading, sipping my tea, I thought of how much the WordPress community meant to me. It’s such a joy to come here and be encouraged. Over the past two years, I’ve made friends like you who are so good at building people up. And that’s what keeps me hooked. I am still growing.

As human beings, we are constantly looking for affirmation from the other. Every single moment of our lives, we are looking for a smile, a wave, a nod, anything that makes us people worth something. What’s behind our hunger for attention and affirmation?

I looked around. I was halfway down my tea. I tend to do that a lot. I eat and drink faster when I am thinking. I could see the football ground from where I was sitting. Some students were kicking a ball around, getting ready for a match. I turned back to my tea. I’ve heard some people say that our thirst for approval has a lot to do with our need to survive. We want proof that we are relevant. That we are still in the game, still part of the society. I guess that’s one way of looking at it.

But then there is also the possible connection of external affirmation with the approval you give yourself. In this sense, everyone you see, is a mirror. A mirror you look into to evaluate yourself. You see someone and you immediately compare them with yourself. The standards here are usually set by society. They are in a way, universal. You see a bad character in someone and you immediately search for that character in yourself. The disgust you feel towards that character is something you do not want to be associated with. So you scrummage through your past, you comb through your present and you make laws for the future. You see a good quality and you do the same. In this evaluation, you create multiple pictures of yourself that are different. It’s a process that goes on. You are in effect, constantly updating yourself on who you are.

I know I’m boring you. But here’s the point- affirmation does matter.

It is connected with something that is so sensitive- a person’s idea of who he is.

We as human beings, should be aware of this fact. A hurtful word that you can avoid, must be avoided. A smile and a wave never hurt anyone. Of course. there are times when you will have to correct a friend. Correction when done with care, brings about respect and trust.

Teasing and making fun of somebody can seem very harmless, especially when among friends. But essentially when you go down to it, the person at the receiving end feels irrelevant, insignificant and lonely. The Bible has a verse that talks about how with the same tongue you praise God, you curse men, who were made in His likeness. We both need to work on our words, me and you.

So let’s lift people up rather than bring them down. Let’s smile and wave whenever we can and let us be the someone who always has a spare shoulder for others to cry on.

Here at WordPress, I’ve always felt love and encouragement from everyone. That’s what makes it special for me. You keep coming back here, taking your precious time and using it to read what I write. And for that I adore you. So thank you.

I would love to hear from you.

What makes WordPress special for you? Please comment. And thank you once again for reading!

God bless!

Yours,

Stefan

Whole lotta love!

‘All the world’s a stage’

Shakespeare?

Yep!

Life is a play, and we all have our exits and entrances.

A few days ago, I came across this absolutely beautiful story about a rattrap peddler by Selma Lagerlof. The message that easily came out from the story was how love and kindness can change hearts.

Can it?

We live in a world that is constantly questioning the power of the abstract forces that drive us. This inspired me to think about them in a new way.

So today, I decided to write about how we are all lovable in a very strange way.

Have you ever found yourself falling in love with the star character in a movie?

We can’t help it. All throughout the movie, we are there in front of that rectangular screen( I don’t know why all electronic screens come in rectangles these days. Aesthetics? Definitely something to think about but let’s get back to the topic), we sit there with our popcorn, rooting for them, justifying their mistakes and encouraging them on with your silent and undivided attention.

You see, one of the funniest facts about life is that there are more than 7 billion people on this planet right now and still we believe that our life is the most important of them all.

Why?

Every book and every movie has a main character and the whole world moves around him or her, just like in real life. We move on in this world everyday, creating another part of this really long movie, where we remain the main character and the whole world flips, jumps and rides around us. This is one of the greatest reasons why we love movies. A few minutes into a movie, you become the person on the screen, you recognise that element and you get lost in a new world, where anything could happen. You get to be somebody else for a while. No consequences. Just like a dream.

You see and travel with the person throughout the movie. You see the private and public side of the person’s life. You see the silent tears and the loud laughter. You see their secret life. You see how they think and so you know why he/she made that particular decision. This is why a movie can be influential. Even if you don’t like the character at the start , you are stuck with them till the end, that is, if you still choose to give the movie a chance. And most of the time, in the end, you end up just loving the character.

This made me wonder about the people in our life.

Are we one of those guys who pause movies midway and walk away because the character is not interesting?

Or are we the guys who choose to give it a chance anyway?

The point is, when we make quick conclusions, when we shut people out of our lives because we believe they are ‘unlovable’, we are actually pausing the movie and walking away.

There are no ‘unlovable’ people in this world. There’s a piece of us in the people around us. It helps us to bond, trust and understand each other.

But unless we show the patience to try and find that missing piece, this world will remain the same. We need a whole lotta love in this world. Our jail cells are filling up so fast, it’s hard to even imagine the rate. We need to start fighting with our hearts.

Look around you. There are lots of people who show absolutely unconditional love to people who don’t even deserve it. There is only one thing that can bring back that touch of emotion a man has lost. Love, unconditional, undeserving, pure love. The kind of love that God shows us everyday. We call him names, we put all the things that go wrong in this world on him when he made us creatures with free will. But still he chooses to love.

Won’t you try to love someone today. He/she may not deserve it. But don’t pause the movie yet, the DVD still has miles to run. In time you’ll understand why.

Won’t you love?

 

 

 

A Productive System

I just pulled off an all nighter!  I am a bit dizzy but I think I can do this. I am a night time kinda guy. I don’t know if there is any particular word to describe people who like to work at night.

Nocturnal, maybe?

Nah…that’s not it.

Anyway, with my strange humor sense out of the bag, let’s get into this post.

Today, I am going to tell you something important. I know that’s a cliché line but I really mean it. Not that it’s going to change the world or anything, but it will help you when you do a team project or, if you want to think extremes, when you start a new company.

People taking business advice from 17 year olds!!!???

What has the world come to!?

I know. But let’s move on.

We have all gone to a get-together programme at some point in our lives. If it’s a family get-together, there is a good chance that there will be some games in the end. How many times have you ended up in a get-together were you didn’t know jack squat about any of the games. Remember that feeling when you got so embarrassed you just wanted the thing to be over. You don’t ? Am I the only one? No of course not! That would be weird. We have all felt that feeling at some point in our lives. That feeling when you felt like you didn’t fit into the group.

If I ask you why you felt like you didn’t fit in, one obvious answer would be:

‘It’s not my thing, bro’

Did I guess that right? Okay, good!

You see the reason why you didn’t have a good time at that party was because the games asked you to be somebody you’re not.

This is where the title of this post comes into play

‘Productive Systems’

Technical term. I know.

Take that situation at that get-together as a system of which you were a part. Now lets give you a quality. Let’s say you are an introvert. Which simply means high exposure stuff like say, jumping rope in front of your family in the living room as part of the ‘game’ will never be your thing. Bingo is our lifesaver.

An introvert is shy and might not be able to make many friends but they make great public speakers.

What!!!??

I know that makes no sense at all. The thing is public speaking, in my opinion, creates a secure space where an introvert feels like it is okay to be outgoing and strong. I believe one of the questions that introverts always ask themselves is : is this vibe right for this situation? The touch of formality to such cases, therefore has a huge impact. Whereas in the informal day to day life, an introvert is shy. This is my theory on it and it could be ridiculously wrong. So, I apologize in advance to all the psychologists reading this post.

What we just saw was the same quality producing contrasting results in two different situations. Introverts are often misjudged to be not that productive. They can be productive, when they are in an environment they feel comfortable in. But the problem is our workplaces, our educational systems all are shaped very similar to the family get-together games environment. This is based on the belief that extroversion is better or maybe because of the larger number of extroverts. But the truth is no quality is greater than another in this case. Productivity here is very much based on the environment.

Introversion and extroversion is just one pair of qualities I used to explain this effect. There are a lot of quality pairs you can think up yourself that can affect the outcome of a group in terms of productivity. There is nothing wrong in having to work with people who have absolutely different ways of functioning as long as you recognize and take the appropriate measures.

Your group or your team can attain the maximum productivity if you give importance to how everyone in the group is wired. Let us take a point, X and another point, Y. Let Y symbolize maximum productivity and let X be anything below the maximum productivity. Everyday we travel from X to Y( work hard to attain maximum productivity). Now all I am saying is instead of everybody taking the same path, leave the option open for the use of another path given that it also ends in Y. In other words, our systems have to be modified in a way that a group can work as a group even when the approach of the members within the group shows difference.

So, next time you’re having  Friday night games with your family, bring a chessboard for the introvert or try bingo for a change. What’s the harm? If you have an extrovert too in the house, try that jump rope thing I made up. Who knows it could turn into a trend or something.

Anyway, thanks for dropping in. Write a comment. Be a part. I would love to hear from you. God bless and see you guys in a few days.