A Word On Why Your Words Matter

Dear……..……….

It’s me again. Today I had a really long class. I was so tired after that, that I just walked back to my room and dropped on my bed. After food today, I felt like going out. The night was so young and beautiful. I decided to sit down for some cold lemon tea. I took the longer road this time to get to the tea stall. It’s always nice to take the longer road. You get to say hi to some people and make some small talk. Leaves a smile on your face by the time you reach your destination. I decided to go through some great posts. And I was sitting there reading, sipping my tea, I thought of how much the WordPress community meant to me. It’s such a joy to come here and be encouraged. Over the past two years, I’ve made friends like you who are so good at building people up. And that’s what keeps me hooked. I am still growing.

As human beings, we are constantly looking for affirmation from the other. Every single moment of our lives, we are looking for a smile, a wave, a nod, anything that makes us people worth something. What’s behind our hunger for attention and affirmation?

I looked around. I was halfway down my tea. I tend to do that a lot. I eat and drink faster when I am thinking. I could see the football ground from where I was sitting. Some students were kicking a ball around, getting ready for a match. I turned back to my tea. I’ve heard some people say that our thirst for approval has a lot to do with our need to survive. We want proof that we are relevant. That we are still in the game, still part of the society. I guess that’s one way of looking at it.

But then there is also the possible connection of external affirmation with the approval you give yourself. In this sense, everyone you see, is a mirror. A mirror you look into to evaluate yourself. You see someone and you immediately compare them with yourself. The standards here are usually set by society. They are in a way, universal. You see a bad character in someone and you immediately search for that character in yourself. The disgust you feel towards that character is something you do not want to be associated with. So you scrummage through your past, you comb through your present and you make laws for the future. You see a good quality and you do the same. In this evaluation, you create multiple pictures of yourself that are different. It’s a process that goes on. You are in effect, constantly updating yourself on who you are.

I know I’m boring you. But here’s the point- affirmation does matter.

It is connected with something that is so sensitive- a person’s idea of who he is.

We as human beings, should be aware of this fact. A hurtful word that you can avoid, must be avoided. A smile and a wave never hurt anyone. Of course. there are times when you will have to correct a friend. Correction when done with care, brings about respect and trust.

Teasing and making fun of somebody can seem very harmless, especially when among friends. But essentially when you go down to it, the person at the receiving end feels irrelevant, insignificant and lonely. The Bible has a verse that talks about how with the same tongue you praise God, you curse men, who were made in His likeness. We both need to work on our words, me and you.

So let’s lift people up rather than bring them down. Let’s smile and wave whenever we can and let us be the someone who always has a spare shoulder for others to cry on.

Here at WordPress, I’ve always felt love and encouragement from everyone. That’s what makes it special for me. You keep coming back here, taking your precious time and using it to read what I write. And for that I adore you. So thank you.

I would love to hear from you.

What makes WordPress special for you? Please comment. And thank you once again for reading!

God bless!

Yours,

Stefan

The Grand Canyon Perspective

Wow! It’s been a very very long time since I last got on this ‘write’ page. It’s like walking into your room after 4 years away in college( I am not there yet. Let’s slow down!)

Anyway, after about 20 reminders yelling at me to find the time to write a post about something in the sticky notes flying  on my bedroom wall and a 4 mile walk back to my house because I got on the wrong bus, I thought I should get back to this.

Today, I am going to talk to you guys about how we often appreciate beauty. Many of you who have been reading my blogs know how I like to talk about the ‘human perspective’. This is about how we look at life.

I learned earlier today that life is not a destination, it is a journey. The very theory that life is going to turn into this wonderful picture while you’re still alive and walking on this earth is what usually drives us. But the truth is that there is always something more in life. The reason why many people often feel depressed when they have everything is because they thought that once you ‘have everything’, you become that full picture that brings ultimate satisfaction. When the realisation strikes on how the picture needs a lot more strokes, you break down and with that breakdown, comes the increased attention to the missing and the lost.

Now, let me take you to your backyard garden or your city park. You are out there enjoying the wind on your face, that great big powerful force minimised to that luxurious breeze, you are breathing in the fresh air and you are enjoying the magnificent flowers. God was extremely gracious to us in making flowers. They are really something ‘extra’ like the great Sherlock Holmes said. He wants us to live life to the full and that is why he came down himself. The very beauty in the flower, I believe, lies in many things. But today, I would like to take you to the ‘smallness’ of a flower. When you look at a flower you get to see the entire thing. You can see everything from the stalk to the edges of the petals and it amazes you beyond words how this amazing picture that produces great satisfaction could be packed into something so small.

Our appreciation of beauty is in many situations, based on our visual reach. Imagine you are at the Grand Canyon. You are there in you taxi and your watching it from a kilometre distance. Now, I want you to turn into that 90s movie director who zooms the camera in like crazy. You are zooming in and  zooming in until you reach that small blurred patch of orange rock. Imagine all you could see was that small bit of rock, that bit you see when you press your face against the Grand Canyon. Not very interesting. Right? But now zoom back out. You are back to your spot and you get to see the entire thing and you just love it.

We want ‘complete’ to think about ‘perfect‘, That’s just how the human mind works.

Today, are we going after that final picture?

The Grand Canyon is amazing and will stay amazing, whether or not you look at it from your taxi or from a millimetre distance. The resources for the making of that final picture we look for has been given by God to us. They may not be materialising into a great picture today, but they are still amazing because they are what creates the final picture in the future. Is it not time yet for us to stop striving for the final picture and start thinking about what we want our life to look like today? Because that picture in the end will be great only if you start thinking about life as a journey, a mix of many todays filled with great potential, todays that are steps away from the small picture that lets us see more of what God has in store for us.

Now, I am going to talk about how we want our life to look like.

As a Christian, I want my life to look like what God wants it to look like, because I believe that none of my plans or standards of success will ever match His.

Be what God wants you to be today. Don’t worry about the final picture. The real beauty does not lie in the results but it lies in who you are, in the resources that God has given you. As long as you breath, you can believe in a tomorrow. And if today does not work out, tomorrow is still there for you. Today, may be like you pressing your face on the Grand Canyon. But with every today, considering you are true to yourself and to God, you will be seeing more of the Grand Canyon and finally somebody else is going to see it from a taxi on their journey and get inspired by it!

Can’t stop laughing. . .

It’s been a hectic week for me. What with all the exams and tuition classes, I just could not find time to be where I am right now, before my computer, just spilling my heart out. There are many things that fascinate me in this life I am so thankful for. So, here I am to share with you something I’ve been thinking about for the past few days. Thank you for reading my blog and I hope this helps you in some way.

Have you ever had this experience?

You’re sitting in your room. Your head is hanging above an array of diagrams and equations. You are reading about the Pauli Exclusion principle when you hear something that clearly does not fit into the picture.

And that ‘something’ is what I am going to talk to you about today.

Guess what it is:

Laughter!!!!

I had this experience last week. I was busy doing my work when I heard laughter from the other room, where the rest of my family was busy watching a comedy show.

I felt miserable. Unable to join in the fun, I just sat there. It took all my will power to coerce my mind into focusing on my work again.

The point is:

There is something about laughter that attracts us. 

Take an example from our day-to-day life. Ever noticed how much we like people who laugh a lot? It’s amazing. You just love to be around them. It’s like they’ve got a rusty motor working again.

We all live life like it’s a struggle every step of the way. We want to laugh. It’s just that the atmosphere around us is just not going along with it.

Laughter tells us a lot of things. It is a living thing. It talks of confidence, happiness, love, acceptance and warmth. A few of the many things we seem to be losing out on these days. So, when we see somebody laughing, all these emotions come flooding into our mind. And it’s contagious. So we find solace in their presence.

The funny thing is, they may be just as fed up with life as we are. Laughing is something innate for them. So, they laugh. And it helps them too.

Love Mr. Bean?

Ever noticed the invisible audience laughing all the time in his episodes?

Though we may not realize it, that invisible audience makes that episode so much more interesting for us to watch. I’ve noticed how they laugh at some things he does that may not be funny at all for me. So, what do I do? I try to find out what was so funny about that scene and sure enough, in the end, I sympathize with the invisible audience with regard to the humor quality of that scene. So, it makes Mr. Bean much more interesting for me. Even if I don’t find something funny, I still laugh because I don’t want to be left out of the fun. And sure enough that meaningless laugh makes me feel better.

Just laugh. It doesn’t always have to be funny. 

When your friend makes a joke and it’s a fail, just laugh like you’ve really enjoyed it.

What’s your gain?

A happy friend and a healthier body and mind.

Sometimes it’s worth it to laugh at nothing. We sure need it.

There is a verse in the Bible that talks of how we should seek peace and pursue it.

Many good things in life are hidden treasures. You’ve got to get out there and claim it. Or it’s going to stay there. And believe me, if you don’t take the time to try to find it and make it your own, you’re losing out on something priceless, something unlimited!!

So laugh and then laugh again. . . … 

 

 

Planning Conversations

Many of you would be wondering about this title. It has nothing to do with the scientific side of the world of conversations though.

Hmmm. . . 

How in the world should I start this post.

Well, let’s just say, I am talking about planning for the future.

From this simple start, all you mathematical supercomputers out there( which I unfortunately am not, yet) can figure out the whole post. Put the title of this post along with what I just said and you get:

Planning conversations= Planning the future.

Bingo!

But this necessarily does not mean what you may have deducted by the standard rules of mathematics. Which is why I want you to  keep on reading.

Funny right?

A great psychologist once said that a conversation is like a game of catch. You throw a ball to someone and he/ she throws it back to you.

There is one point that stood out from the many thoughts that passed my mind when I read this.

The success of this ancient game lies in how well you are able to catch an incoming ball and how well you are able to throw it back. The first part is usually the harder one.

So what does this have to do with planning for the future?

Well let me tell you.
Imagine future is a person. You and this imaginary person is having a conversation. You had played this moment in your mind for the past many years. Let’s just say it’s an interview for your dream job. You have practiced the lines. But at the interview, future asks you questions you never thought he would. You stammer.

The End.

Well this is what the future turns out for most of us. We try to plan everything not realizing that the future has some things planned out too.

So what do we do?

Well, that is where God comes in. He knows the full picture. Trusting him can give you a guarantee that no other thing in this world can give.

So, plan everything keeping in mind that God has the eraser. . . .

The coloured question. . .

For the last few days, I was trying to figure out the answer to a very silly question.

Why is almost every plant on our planet green? Why wasn’t it all blue?

I am not asking you why we see it as green, I am asking you why it was made green in the first place.

Really??!!!

I know it’s a crazy question but for every silly question, there is a probability for an equally reactive answer that may be incredibly deep.

Though I am strong Christian and absolutely a theist, I decided to think about this rationally. Just to see where it leads.

Want to know my answer?

I would love to tell you what it is in a short sentence, but it was a picture. It was a picture of different textures. Some of it was done in watercolour, some in pencil, some in oil. But it created many layers.

My first approach was imagining an earth were all the green plants were replaced with an other colour. Man, I just wanted to run away. Let’s just describe it as disturbing.

One thought led to another.

Green for me, was one of the best colours that would fit for nature.

Well, I was born into green nature, so it could just be that I am so used to it. But there are things we are born into, colours we don’t like even though it may have been a part of our lives for a long time.

Here, came the first train of thoughts I took.

It doesn’t matter what theory you believe in. It doesn’t matter if it’s evolution or the Big Bang. Or maybe you are a theist like me.

The question is can you explain the love of one creation for another.

If it was just a big bang or a long process of evolution, what possibility is there that the end products will still be able to appreciate each other’s beauty?

There has to be a predesigned plan.

For a long time, we have been throwing God out of the equation. We like to think of ourselves as independent.

When I thought about this, I was amazed. I was able to enjoy nature to an extent that I could not explain it. Wow!!!

The emotional stability and the unknown equation that helps us to respond in a way that others can understand our feelings is in itself a miracle.

Science has helped us to stare with wonder at the magnificent blueprints of life. But the purest form of enjoyment lies in the simple and humble beauty.

I don’t know if I am able to completely convey to you everything I learnt from this one truth. I hope you got something. God bless you. Enjoy the beauty around you today and thank God for making it in a way that surpasses your understanding and imagination.

Where there’s a shadow

I just had a great and fabulous Sunday and despite me having a test tomorrow, I decided to talk to you. First of all I would like to thank all of you who supported my blog for the past 2 months. Sharing my life with you has been a great experience.

We all know Newton’s law- ‘For every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction.’

Sometimes I think of how this applies to the abstract things in our lives. We all know the saying- ‘One man’s gain is another man’s loss.’

Not a saying you would always like to talk about but true to an amazing extent.

But I would like to bring it into a picture that maybe you can look back to when you feel like you’ve got no hope.

We’ve all been in the dark rooms of life. Sometimes wherever you look, shadows surround you and haunt you. But this is what I’d like to tell you.

Where there’s a shadow, there’s a light. I heard this line in a song that always moves me- ‘Road to Zion’ by Petra.

When I hear that line. Newton’s law passes my mind. If every reaction had an equal and opposite reaction. .. . .

I tried to put it into perspective.

I’d like to put it like this.

The greater the intensity of the shadow, the greater the intensity of the light.

When you feel like you are going through hell, know that there’s something before you that God has put into place that will balance out the bends and bruises you are facing. God might be letting you face it so that he can polish you, mould you and help you to enjoy the light before you with a much greater perspective and joy. But in the meantime, he will be by your side, guiding you.

So, don’t give up hope. Keep pushing on.

This planet will never be the same without you in it. Because you are unique and you have a unique influence.

Sometimes, the vastness and the large number of people walking on our planet makes us think of how ordinary we are. But the truth is that the larger the number, the more valuable your uniqueness is.

So know that you are valuable.

Lots of love and God bless you indeed. .. .

The diary entry in the cupboard

Just now, as I was rummaging in my cupboard, I came across a piece of paper. I had written this more than a year back when my grandpa died. I wanted to share it with all of you. I wrote this when he died, sitting on my bed after returning from the hospital. I want to dedicate this to every grandpa and grandchild and I hope you will build up on that relationship more after reading this.

 

‘Life has given man a lot of mysteries to solve. But the simplest, and yet, the most complicated of them all is the strong bond between a father and a son, a daughter and her mother, grandparents and grandchildren and the relationship among siblings. Walk into a hospital that so often takes away the mundane mist of life. A tear drops from the eyes of the wounded relative of a deceased soul and makes its mark on the shining hospital floors, but its life lasts only a few glistening moments as it is trodden upon by another, declaring the arrival of a new soul into their family. The tear is no more, neutralised by another tear of joy. This is life. These thoughts passed my mind as I waited outside the emergency ICU, waiting for information. My mother crying, not able to stop the pictures of her father from a lifetime that was ebbing away showing that life is transient. Me and my mother were the last people to see him alive. I could not believe it. When I was a toddler, grandpa was an immortal, someone who would be there for everything. He was one of the most influential people in my life. He was an evangelist who stood up for what he believed in, no matter what others said. Their mocking laughs would bounce off him with such ease that I was sometimes surprised. To me, even today, nearing the end of my teenage years, his life is still the greatest legend. I was his only grandson and the eldest and I had such a wonderful relationship with him. Mother used to say I was his prince. He really did see me like a prince and he used to say it too. He was the greatest entertainer and the greatest thinker I’ve known. My grandpa passed down a lot of priceless things to me. Finding them has been the greatest of all experiences. He wanted me to know God and live a life worth living. He was a man of status but he used to bend down and take in people others tend to avoid. He was an inspiration. A man of tremendous patience, love, honour and humour, kindness, principles and value, we’ll never forget him for who he was.’

I am sharing this with you so that you will realise how great a relationship can be. It is the greatest philosophy.

So often life can be like a white blank room with only you and your shadow. But that shadow will tell you that somewhere in the blankness of life, there is a light shining. That is what relationships can do. It will be that part of you that will stick close by you and point you to the light. It will give you hope and lead you to the right place. In my case, it led me to God. It was the people around me that made me realise that God is no myth. God is a living truth. And today,  he is my best friend. He loved me by giving his life for me and he taught me to learn to give my life for others. That’s what Jesus did for me.

So spend your time on building up your relationships more this week. Ask God to bring into your life more people you can touch and heal. God bless you!!!!!